Anywhere you go videogames always seem to follow a certain ritual of flaws, gimmicks, and whatnot. They can be from videogames as old as your local arcade to ones just birthed from the vaginal lips of the modern industry. Here is a list of ones you may recognize.
The Lava Level
Every videogame always has to have a fiery cespool met with a large flaming reptilian boss at the end.
The Jungle Level
The medium difficulty level that is never easy to find your way through.
Easy Tutorials
Even when you know how to play the damn game you must trudge your way through an agonizingly easy but slow how-to level.
Cheat Codes
Although a dying breed some games stay true to retro fun. From invincibilty to level skips. Cheat codes are just oodles of fun.
Mediocre Movie Games
Games made within a month of the premier of an overly hyped movie that always seems to disappoint. *Cough, Waterworld.*
Side Scrolling
You have to jump over the deadly hole meanwhile in real life you would simply move around it.
Double Jumping
Starting to become a dying breed as well. A little extra oomf to reach that treasure or close that precarious gap.
Glitches
What better way to have frustration in a game than an unwanted occurance in the game's graphics or function in general. Sometimes these are beneficial and hilarious.
Easter Eggs
From hidden pictures to disappointing rewards. Enjoy difficult to find crap that you look for only to assure yourself that it's there.
Bosses
A super-powered enemy that takes a little more struggle to overcome. Games that lack these baddies obviously don't have the cohones to handle them.
In-Game Advertisements
Me: C'mon die already Bowser!
Mario: Drink diet Coke to save Peach.
Me: Gulp, gulp, gulp.
Peach: Thanks for saving me. Drink more diet Coke.
Me: *Running out to the nearest Wal-mart.
Overly Priced
Despite the fact that the gaming public knows a game is about to flop they still want you to pay full price for it.
Gamers' Choice
Games that only cost you a maximum of $20 and are still good a couple years after it's release.
Missions
Absurd objectives that force you to play unwanted missions to advance the story. Some are actually fun.
Turn Based
Cloud: Hi-yah!
Enemy: Ow that hurt! It's my turn!
Cloud: No it isn't. Hi-yah!
Enemy: You cheated! It wasn't your turn to attack!
Cloud: Who the hell says so!?
Coins
Tiny bits of currency that may actually be able to be spent or used to boost your score by a miniscule amount.
Taunting
Piss off other players with a snappy pose. But then again you leave yourself open. Hehe, karma.
AAA
The top three initials on any arcade machine. Always taunting you with its default high score.
Potions
The cheapest lifesavers a game has to offer. At higher levels you have to spring for higher potions. Damn inflation.
Leveling Up
You just got stronger. Whoopdy doo. What? You can't level up any more?! Well what are you going to do now?
Horrible AI
None of your allies or enemies ever act to basic instruction or common sense.
Bad Camera Controls
80% of videogames today have cameras. A small minority of that percentage have decent camera controls. For just two complaints a day you will...most likely not change anything.
Crossovers
Characters clash in the universe of another to ally with eachother or beat the living hell out of one another. I prefer the second option.
Quarters
What your daddy used to waste his life. Today you play for free.
Kill Screens
A way of a game saying "You've had enough, put down the joystick". A signal that your in need of help.
Videogame Remakes
Either mediocre, decent, or horriby remastered versions of the classics. Usually includes bonus content and additional modes.
Difficulties
Have the game play at the level you are comfortable with. Yet, you feel vaguely empty knowing the hard mode taunts you not completed.
Scratches and Dust
If you see some wear-and-tear on your disk or cartridge, you may need to spring for a new copy.
Dust in cartridge-blow into it
Dirty disk-lick it and wipe it off with your shirt
Scratches-your boned my friend
Impossible Bosses
The one baddy you can't beat. Either you have your friend beat him for you or break out the invincibility cheat.
The Final Boss
The badest baddy. The only obstacle that seperates you from ultimate loserdome. God speed my friend.
The Rival
The one character that strives to beat you. Usually pissy but enthusiastic and can make a good late-game boss fight.
First Person
A view that actually makes you believe you are the hero. But you're not.
Multiplayer
This can either flaunt your superior skill or your horribly suckish gaming prowess.
Online Play
The only place where the terms noob and pwn are socaciably acceptable. But please don't say these terms in public.
The One Hit Kill
The most dreaded move in any game. Prepare to cry.
The High Score
The pinnacle of scoring. But in truth nobody is really going to care how many barrels you jumped over.
1-up
Yay! You get to die all over again! Weeeeee!
The Game Over Screen
You never want to see this screen as it is a realization of how utterly you have failed yourself.
Save Points
Usually spaced far apart but the biggest relief a gamer can come by.
The ESRB
Pretty much tells you how good a game will be.
-Everyone-Snore
-Teen-Okay getting good
-Mature-Now we're talking
-Adults Only-Good times ahead
Commemerative & Expansion Packs
You get these by either reserving a copy of the game or buying it seperately. These can be a great buy that's worth the money but can be pretty disappointing. Contributor-eightball6219
Trailers
90% of cinematic trailers are misleading showing you a beautifully mastered trailer but when you buy the game you are left with a load disappointment. That is why I wait for the review and opinions from others. Contributor-eightball6219
P.S. I realize I used the word disappointment ALOT in this list.
Different Sequels
Why must a sequel function and play differently from its pedecessor. Why mess with a good thing?! *Cough, Super Mario Bros. 2 & Shadow the Hedgehog*
But these in many cases can be what the series needed. A big risk to take.
That's my list.
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